Saturday, January 30, 2010
Today, I finally finish my fyp, it was a great day for me. All my stress was release from my shoulder, and now I can concentrate on other things in my life.
Enjoy working with Boss, Yan eh and Black Face. They are a bunch of people I hope to mix with. I really enjoy working with them, they brought me laugther, enjoyable moments in my life in TP. The major project lives up to it's name, "major", really kan major.
Another person that I will remember is Uncle LiM! a great mentor in my life. Wonderful Guy!
But today, all my mood went down when I met my dearest. I just can't understand the reason for her being that way. I suddenly feel like a piece of shit. Right before that, my mood was high and my energy can allow me to run 5km without thinking of tired. But when I saw her, my mood just went down and I suddenly feel so damn tired.
I have to try entertaining her and try to understand her. I know, she was pissed because I didn't tell her when I finished. But I was busy ma. I really dun understand what's going on. I really feel so tired with all theses.
Sometimes, I just wonder, what's wrong! Can't I have a peace in mind when doing my project? Or just can't I enjoy the time with my friends? This is so irritating.
I have been trying to be understanding when you are busy, did I even request for you to accompany me? I even try to help you in doing the project. Sometimes, I dun even have time for myself! How long have I not been contacted my friends? How long have I not go out with them?
Even if they come to my house, I still have to manage both side. I have my way of living my life! I am now trying my best to have a balance between my friends and you. But there you are being pissed and everything. I am just too tired to bother all these things anymore.
Just like last semester, while I am doing my LOMe project, I left Wei Peng to do it alone and went to help you. When you give me a fucking attitude on that day, and I became an irresponsible guy. What The Fuck!
Hope you understand that I am also a human. I don't wish to see you understand what's going on when one day I decided to run away from everything in my life. This is so stressful. I always thought of a relationship that both parties can depend on each other. But I dun feel it this way. I am not sure whether you have this feeling, and I apologize if you don't.
Sometimes, I really feel like running away from everything, but you are very important to me and I do not want you to suffer from my reckless act. Sometimes, I feel that you only respond to the issue and something serious happen, and the effect only last for a short moment. I really hope you can be my wife-to-be, whom i can depend on. I really hope that you can understand me more.
I am trying to give as much as possible to let you feel loved, although I am not sure whether you feel loved by me. I will still try my best. Just don't take me for granted.
I hope one day you will see all these, but hopefully not on a day when I am gone. If I am gone, please do not regret about it. I believe there another guy who can treat you better.
Just please don't take me for granted. I really don't wish to see you as another person, as I do really love you. and that's why I am trying so hard to maintain our relationship.
posted at 2:02 AM
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